Prepared Isn’t Paranoid. It’s Love With a Plan

A memorial outside the King Soopers in Boulder, Colorado, following a shooting that took place there, with the #BoulderStrong banner, flowers, and crosses honoring victims. Photo by David Zalubowski. Credit: AP. Copyright © 2021 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

Aisle seven, ordinary Tuesday. Fluorescent hum overhead. The checkout dings. Laura Ashley’s list is dialed for what the kids will actually eat. I push the cart. Izzy rides the front like a hood ornament. Caitlynn twirls through the cereal aisle. Cayden slips a neon science-project candy toward the cart when he thinks I’m not looking. We are an ordinary family in an ordinary place.

I’m not tense. I’m present. Phone in my pocket. Eyes soft. Ears open. I clock the exits and meet people’s eyes. A dad in a faded ball cap laughs with the cashier. A kid drops a glass jar. It pops like a small firework. The whole store flinches, then exhales. A clerk sweeps glass. Life resumes.

The world often feels “pre-bark,” as comedian Dan Soder says—on edge and amped, waiting for the next knock at the door. I stay calm. Years of work made that possible. Today I carry a concealed handgun. Not to look tough. To be steady.

People call concealed carriers paranoid.
“Why live in fear?”
“Expecting trouble?”
“If you carry a gun, you must be scared.”

Here’s the truth: Prepared isn't Paranoid, fear thrives in the unknown. Responsibility shrinks it. I carry so I can move through the world with less fear, not more. This is not cosplay. It is love with a plan.

A Simple Compass: Stoic Clarity, Taoist Balance, and the Way of Christ

Marcus Aurelius, a symbol of Stoic clarity and balanced strength—guiding the ethic of being prepared, not paranoid. (Photo: Adrian Botica)

My compass is old wisdom. The Stoics teach the dichotomy of control. Reinhold Niebuhr’s prayer says the same: control what you can, accept what you cannot, know the difference. I cannot control evil. I can control my training, presence, boundaries, and choices under stress.

Taoism teaches the path of least harm. Avoid when you can. De-escalate when you can. Leave when you can. If the dam breaks and innocent life is at risk, move with focused force, then return to stillness.

Jesus teaches love of neighbor, peacemaking, and restraint. “Turn the other cheek” is not surrendering the vulnerable; it is refusing petty retaliation. The Good Samaritan is active compassion: see harm, stop, render aid. “Greater love has no one than this, to lay down one’s life for friends.” Discipline, mercy, strength under control.

That is the concealed-carry ethic at its best: quiet, capable, deeply reluctant, ready without pride. Preparedness shrinks fear. Panic performs it.

Why I Carry

I carry for those that I love, myself included. I will not leave our safety to wishful thinking. When seconds matter, heroics are not a plan. Practice is.

For the last 5 years I’ve watched hundreds of students at our Guardian Conference step into responsibility with humility. They do not strut out of class. They leave with softer voices and steadier hands. They buy chest seals and tourniquets. They talk to their spouses about plans. They learn to say “let’s go,” guiding a loved one by the elbow without drama. That isn’t fear. That is stewardship.

What Critics Get Wrong

• Prepared ≠ paranoid. Paranoia is fantasy. Preparedness is practiced reality.

• Presence over panic. Training raises awareness. Head up. Phone down. Most days it buys connection. On a bad day, it buys time.

• Courage with constraints. Avoid if you can. De-escalate if you can. Escape if you can. Defend only when you must.

A Small Fear Playbook

1. Name it. “I am feeling fear.” Now it has edges.

2. Sort it. What is under my control. What is not.

3. Act on the controllables. Train. Plan. Communicate. Equip.

4. Release the rest. Peace grows in the space you just cleared.

We choose voluntary discomfort on purpose: dry fire with strict safety, scenario reps, fitness that burns the lungs, and medical drills. Every rep takes a bite out of fear. Better to sweat in practice than freeze in public.

Be Like Water

Water chooses the path of least harm. So should we. Go around the problem if possible. If there is no path, hold shape. If the dam breaks and life is at risk, move with focused force, then return to calm.

Seven Accusations. Seven Short Answers.

• “You’re paranoid.” → I’m prepared. Reps buy me calm and options.

• “You’re spreading fear.” → Skills shrink fear. They turn unknowns into knowns.

• “If you carry, you expect violence.” → I expect unpredictability. A seatbelt is not pessimism.

• “Guns escalate situations.” → Poor judgment escalates. Training de-escalates. The default is to leave.

• “You want to use it.” → I train so I never have to. The best win is walking away.

• “Real courage is going unarmed.” → Real courage is carrying responsibility for people you love.

• “You fear people unlike you.” → No. I guard the people beside me. Character matters, not category.

How Carriers Keep Fear Small

• Get training often. Not once a decade. Shoot. Move. Think.

• Get medical. Tourniquet use, wound packing, airway basics. Carry the kit. Know it cold.

• Rehearse routes and boundaries. Avoidance, exits, lost-child plans, rally points, code words.

• Practice presence. Phone down. Eyes up. Breathe. Scan without being weird.

• Build strength and cardio. Calm is easier when your body is capable.

• De-escalate daily. Words first. Space first. Pride down.

• Know the law. Understand your state statutes. Know when to say nothing and call counsel.

None of this is about fear. It is about stewardship of mind, body, tools, and time.

What Carry Taught Me About Love

Carrying made me gentler. The weight on my belt reminds me to be worthy of it. Be less reactive. Let slights pass. Give the last word away. Create space where heat might rise. Seek the exit before the argument. Say “you’re right” more than “listen here.”

Protectors fix more with words than force. They leave when they can. They stand when they must. They do not teach kids to fear the world. They teach them to respect reality and meet it with skill.

The Line I Refuse To Cross

There is a difference between readiness and the hunger to be tested. The second is poison. If you carry to prove something, you are carrying wrong. If the gun makes you feel taller, train until humility returns. A gun should disappear into your life like a carpenter’s tape measure. Useful. Unremarkable. Always there. Not an identity. A responsibility.

Good and Dangerous

Be good and dangerous toward evil. Full stop.
Be gentle toward everyone else. Lead with presence. Train with humility. Carry with love.

When the ordinary day arrives, enjoy it fully.
When the hard day arrives, be equal to it.

Prepared isn’t paranoid. It is love with a plan.

Call To Action

If you’ve ever said, “I don’t want to live in fear,” come train with us. Build skills that create peace. Learn medical. Learn to de-escalate. Learn the law. Make your body stronger. Quiet your mind. Carry the weight well.

Start with one class. One dry fire plan. One med kit in your backpack. One family code word. Then keep going. Take the smallest step today, and tomorrow will meet you with less fear.

I am not fearless. I am responsible. That is enough. It shrinks the unknown and makes room for joy in a grocery aisle with a cart full of ordinary life.