Opportunities Not to Be the Gray Man

If you are into self-defense and concealed carry chances are you have heard about and read articles on “The Gray Man”. It is just a way of not giving away the fact that you may be concealing a handgun on your person by looking like the quintessential gun guy.

In other words, if you don't want people to know you are carrying a gun, you probably shouldn't wear a t-shirt that says the name of your favorite gun manufacturer or wear “tactical” pants. I don't necessarily disagree with this line of thinking, but I don't think it's a black-and-white issue. It’s more gray.

The Gray Man philosophy is centered in blending in. Not giving up the fact that you are armed specifically, but not being remarkable generally.

There are two considerations to think about when considering the gray man theory. The first revolves around self-defense. The second involves gun culture. Let's jump into the first consideration.

The first consideration is important. After all, we carry a gun to protect ourselves and our loved ones. What is more important than that? The reason “Gray Man” is so important from a defense aspect is that concealed carriers don't want to be targeted. We also don't want to give up the element of surprise. I think other authors have explained this, so I won't.

As defensive-minded people, we want to carry a gun as much as possible. Many concealed carriers will carry a gun everywhere that the consequences for doing so is acceptable. If the consequence is going to jail or losing our job, then the risk is probably too great for most.

However, if the consequences are that we embarrass someone we love or get kicked out of an establishment because we broke their policy, we still might not want to get caught but the reward (being able to defend your family) outweighs the risk for many. While we may accept the risk we are careful not to print and not to have any tells. We don't wear 2A clothes or anything that may be considered tactical. We try to blend in. No one will know by looking at us that we are a gun guy or gal.

The last consideration is the reason for writing this article. It is a cultural consideration. The 2nd Amendment is something that should be considered when deciding whether to be a “Gray Man” on a particular day. After all, if the right to bear arms is lost the whole point of the “Gray Man” is moot.

We need to win the culture war or at least continue to battle in that realm. A big part of that is letting people know that we are gun people and not ashamed of it. Are there times when being a “gray man” is more prudent? Yes, but are there also times when we are in very low-risk places (even though the risk is never zero) where we should be fighting the culture war?

Places where letting people know that we believe in the right to bear arms. Letting people know that it’s not weird or strange, but perfectly acceptable and that we want them in our community also.

What are these places where it is ok not to be a gray man when concealing a handgun? This differs for everyone, but for me, these might be local community events. A Sportsmans Club meeting (ours focuses on snowmobiles and ATV’s). Maybe a fundraiser/benefit. Church socials might be a good place. 4H meetings with your kids if it is legal.

What about places where carrying is illegal? Is there still a need to be a gray man? Being targeted may still be a concern, but it may be a good time to be a 2A advocate. If so we could
wear pro 2A attire at schools, federal buildings, and any other place where the risk of carrying a firearm is jail time.

There are times I will want to be a gray man. I don’t want to draw attention to myself. Those times for me are going Christmas shopping at a mall with family, traveling, on vacation or even
grocery shopping just to name a few.

So the next time you think it’s safe enough, wear a pro-2A t-shirt.  Maybe a hat is more your style? Get one here.

About Luke Nordvick

Luke has been shooting and hunting from a young age, but dove into the world of Concealed Carry After the Army. He decided to become an instructor after learning as much as possible from training classes from the NRA and the USCCA and reading books from credible authors/instructors like Massad Ayoob, Tom Givens, and Andrew Branca.

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